"S*** a hole in my yoga pants :( in the butt. Are they still wearable?!"
"Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking her family and her dog."
Commas are important.
Time to eat, children!
S***, a hole in my yoga pants :( in the butt. Are they still wearable?!
Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking, her family, and her dog.
This has very little, to nothing, to do with my post.
Last summer I took an Interpersonal Communication class that helped me understand relationships better and allowed me to understand how to effectively communicate with women. More specifically, how to communicate with my significant other.
- process of acting on information
- process of making sense of the world, and sharing that with other by creating meaning through nonverbal and verbal messages.
- distinctive transactional form of human communication -- mutually influential for purpose of managing relationships.
This seems pretty simple, right? Well, what makes the message confusing or misinterpreted? Everything!
First example, let's say the Source is a male, we will call him Brandon and the Receiver is also a male, but his name is Esteban. Their goal is to properly fold a towel. Brandon and Esteban more than likely experienced life, culture, and language differently. Brandon's mom showed him how to tri-fold towels and that's what he's done since he was young. Esteban hated putting up laundry, because he was always in a hurry to go out in play so he just folded the towel in the conventional square. So what Brandon tries to communicate is arbitrary and probably has different meaning to Esteban. It would be easy to conclude that these two would be in a disagreement after their conversation, because of their different background and thoughts.
So which one is right? Reality to one person isn't reality to the next. Reality is what you experience and what you experience isn't the same throughout each person.
Physical Experiences (5 senses):
Seeing, Hearing, Tasting, Feeling, Smelling
Source encodes message in a channel of face to face, electronically or nonverbal. Then the message is decoded by the receiver, then the receiver responds with feedback (essentially becomes a new source). The noise is all the distractions, internally (not focused, multitasking) and externally (TV on, sidebar listening to someone else, kids yelling).
So fellas, universally we are pretty similar. According to Men's Magazine our Top 5 favorite topics are: 1) Sex. 2) Romantic Fantasies. 3) Hobbies/ General Interest. 4) Hopes and Aspirations 5) Music. Pretty accurate. So as long as we talk to only guys we're in good hands.
What about women? The whole experience = reality thing, yeah that applies to them too. And we have no idea what goes on in their head. Women's Top 5 favorite topics are: 1) Hopes and Aspirations. 2) Hobbies/ Interest in General. 3) Music. 4) Dreams. 5) Sex. That's practically the opposite from what we're use to as guys. This diagram below is how I feel talking to girls. Everything has different meaning which makes it noise.
Tips for effective communication:
- "You should have already known, I don't need to tell you." Guys, we've all heard this a few times. Ladies remember the whole experience is reality? That's your reality and I know us guys seem to read minds but truth be told we don't so communicate with us.
- So guys! When your significant other is talking, you better be listening. Because once they tell us (insert important topic) and you say, "Uh huh, okay." I forgot, I didn't know, I didn't hear that is the most invalid argument to stand behind and you might as well grab the throw cover that doesn't reach your feet and head to the couch.
- Be able to share reciprocal interest/ hobbies (Nonsexual. Stupid I even have to say that). If that isn't going well then it's probably not going to work out. It's important to experience life together, that's when important communication occurs.
- Guys want to turn your girl on? Listen! Turn off ESPN sit down for some quality time and...... wait for it.... respond with empathy, not a solution. Boom! This could be the biggest finding on earth next to America.
- Guys, when we have issues we tend to examine it like a math problem. Add or subtract certain thing or person to obtain the best possible out come. We are the problem solvers. When girls have an issues (whether it be a school, work, or car issue) unless they say, "How do I fix this?" They don't want you to solve the problem. Yeah, I was confused too when I first heard that. I will repeat it. When a girl comes to you upset about something and you are doing the right thing and effectively listening, DO NOT RESPOND WITH A SOLUTION. Refer to the previous bullet. 1. Listen. 2. Show Empathy. 3. DO NOT GIVE A SOLUTION. 4. Hug her. At this time she will melt in your arms from anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour. It might be fourth quarter in the semi-finals of the playoffs and Thunder maybe down by 5 and Kevin Durant has a hot hand; However, you should stay put and stay calm.