Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Shhh Girl: Come Here

"Time to eat children!"
"S*** a hole in my yoga pants :( in the butt. Are they still wearable?!"
"Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking her family and her dog."

Commas are important. 

Time to eat, children!
S***, a hole in my yoga pants :( in the butt. Are they still wearable?!
Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking, her family, and her dog.

This has very little, to nothing, to do with my post.


Last summer I took an Interpersonal Communication class that helped me understand relationships better and allowed me to understand how to effectively communicate with women. More specifically, how to communicate with my significant other.

Communication
- process of acting on information

Human Communication
- process of making sense of the world, and sharing that with other by creating meaning through nonverbal and verbal messages.

Interpersonal Communication
- distinctive transactional form of human communication -- mutually influential for purpose of managing relationships.

This seems pretty simple, right? Well, what makes the message confusing or misinterpreted? Everything!

First example, let's say the Source is a male, we will call him Brandon and the Receiver is also a male, but his name is Esteban. Their goal is to properly fold a towel. Brandon and Esteban more than likely experienced life, culture, and language differently. Brandon's mom showed him how to tri-fold towels and that's what he's done since he was young. Esteban hated putting up laundry, because he was always in a hurry to go out in play so he just folded the towel in the conventional square. So what Brandon tries to communicate is arbitrary and probably has different meaning to Esteban. It would be easy to conclude that these two would be in a disagreement after their conversation, because of their different background and thoughts.

So which one is right? Reality to one person isn't reality to the next. Reality is what you experience and what you experience isn't the same throughout each person.

Physical Experiences (5 senses): 
Seeing, Hearing, Tasting, Feeling, Smelling
Injury
Weather Climate
Blind
Crying
Laughing
Sugar

Emotional Experiences:
Admiration
Fear-Terror
Discrimination
Grief
Surprise
Source encodes message in a channel of face to face, electronically or nonverbal. Then the message is decoded by the receiver, then the receiver responds with feedback (essentially becomes a new source). The noise is all the distractions, internally (not focused, multitasking) and externally (TV on, sidebar listening to someone else, kids yelling). 

So fellas, universally we are pretty similar. According to Men's Magazine our Top 5 favorite topics are: 1) Sex. 2) Romantic Fantasies. 3) Hobbies/ General Interest. 4) Hopes and Aspirations 5) Music. Pretty accurate. So as long as we talk to only guys we're in good hands.

Curveball 
What about women? The whole experience = reality thing, yeah that applies to them too. And we have no idea what goes on in their head. Women's Top 5 favorite topics are: 1) Hopes and Aspirations. 2) Hobbies/ Interest in General. 3) Music. 4) Dreams. 5) Sex. That's practically the opposite from what we're use to as guys. This diagram below is how I feel talking to girls. Everything has different meaning which makes it noise.
Tips for effective communication:
- "You should have already known, I don't need to tell you." Guys, we've all heard this a few times. Ladies remember the whole experience is reality? That's your reality and I know us guys seem to read minds but truth be told we don't so communicate with us.

- So guys! When your significant other is talking, you better be listening. Because once they tell us (insert important topic) and you say, "Uh huh, okay." I forgot, I didn't know, I didn't hear that is the most invalid argument to stand behind and you might as well grab the throw cover that doesn't reach your feet and head to the couch.

- Be able to share reciprocal interest/ hobbies (Nonsexual. Stupid I even have to say that). If that isn't going well then it's probably not going to work out. It's important to experience life together, that's when important communication occurs.

-  Guys want to turn your girl on? Listen! Turn off ESPN sit down for some quality time and...... wait for it.... respond with empathy, not a solution. Boom! This could be the biggest finding on earth next to America.

- Guys, when we have issues we tend to examine it like a math problem. Add or subtract certain thing or person to obtain the best possible out come. We are the problem solvers. When girls have an issues (whether it be a school, work, or car issue) unless they say, "How do I fix this?"  They don't want you to solve the problem. Yeah, I was confused too when I first heard that. I will repeat it. When a girl comes to you upset about something and you are doing the right thing and effectively listening, DO NOT RESPOND WITH A SOLUTION. Refer to the previous bullet. 1. Listen. 2. Show Empathy. 3. DO NOT GIVE A SOLUTION. 4. Hug her. At this time she will melt in your arms from anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour. It might be fourth quarter in the semi-finals of the playoffs and Thunder maybe down by 5 and Kevin Durant has a hot hand; However, you should stay put and stay calm.

Danny



Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Honeymoon Challenge

Have you ever made a new years resolution that you'll workout more frequently or that at the beginning of this year you'll lose that flabby stuff? By the end of February, if you made that far, you've given up. This is nothing like that!

Okay so my fiancee and I challenge each other constantly to be better physically and spiritually. A few months back we thought it'd be fun to set challenging expectations for one another for the wedding day/honeymoon. They may sound surface level for someone just reading this, however I assure you, meh they maybe, but not completely.

So you want to know what she asked of me?




To have a six pack of abs by the wedding day.





(THIS IS NOT ME JUST AN IMAGE FROM GOOGLE THAT SOMEONE SITTING NEXT TO ME SAW ME COPY AND PASTE HERE...AWKWARD)

I know what's going through your head, yeah yeah shut up. But do you know how difficult it is to get abs? If you're a twig not very. It's something you can't buy, there's no sort of "magic pill".

Instead, I have been enhancing my daily lifestyle habits that I will continue to work on and develop. A helpful post she sent me was "Get Fit: 44 Small Changes That Impact Your Health In Big Ways". 

When she set that challenge for me it wasn't selfishly for her. It was for me, so I could be healthier. She loves me without the abs already, but I would sure like them too.

Danny


44 Small Changes list, check out the link above for a more in-depth description and example for each point below.      (*= Controlled, **= Working progress)

1. Prioritize* 
2. Make a schedule* 
3. Include interval cardio workouts*
4. Weight training*
5. Consume only real food*
6. No fad diets*
7. Start off your morning with a cup of hot water and lemon
8. Never skip breakfast
9. Smoothies for breakfast
10. Eliminate dairy**
11. Limit your drinking*
12. Try meatless Mondays
13. Eat at the dinner table
14. Try vegan desserts
15. Create muscle confusion*
16. Be motivated*
17. Meal Prep
18. See the doctor regularly*
19. Spend some time relaxing, too*
20. Work out with a partner or take a fitness class
21. Portion control
22. Infused water
23. Confidence*
24. Eat food for its real purpose*
25. Detox Tea
26. Healthy protein* 
27. Eliminate red meat**
28. Choose fish
29. More meals
30. Do not eat two hours before bed**
31. Let go of eggs**
32. Choose brown rice
33. Make vegetable pasta
34. Drink green tea
35. Eat ginger
36. Be aware of when you're hungry and when you're just bored*
37. More sleep**
38. Be aware of ingredients in the food you're eating*
39. Let go of soda*
40. Incorporate coconut oil
41. Use natural sweeteners**
42. Try juicing**
43. Find a workout that you think is fun**
44. Don't give up!** 




Thursday, February 12, 2015

Barry

Barry Sanders. If you're a fan of the game of football you know the name. Shifty, illusive, and selfless are just few additives to describe the former OSU Cowboy and Detroit Lion.  



  • Heisman Trophy winner of 1988
  • NFL Honors - AP Offensive Rookie of the year 1989
  • AP NFL Offensive player of the year award 1994, 1997
  • Best NFL Player ESPY award 1995, 1998
  • Most Valuable Player award 1997
  • Hall of Fame induction in 2004
He had 49 combined receiving and rushing touchdowns in college, 109 combined TD's in the NFL and ran the ball over to the ref every single time as a celebration. 





Barry certainly acts like he's been to the endzone.

He continues this into the NFL however I couldn't find a highlight tape specifically on his humble moments. Watching the many highlight videos on youtube I did catch Barry help hydrate others by handing out several gatorade cups to his teammates. 

Be great! Be humble! Be Barry!

Danny 


Thursday, February 5, 2015

#HOWTODAD



I myself am not a father, but I found this video both hilarious and proper.

Hilarious, because it's filled with real life: dad woken up to something other than peace, the kid with the broken arm, and all the chaos.

Proper in the ways that he doesn't confuse a child by saying that's just the way it is, but educates them on plot twists and the differences in what others think of you by the way you simply wear a hat.

Just thought I'd share something fun and enlightening.

Danny

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

NFL Play of The Year

How about that "Game Changer" play that everyone will remember for the rest of Football history?


Oh, you thought I was talking about the game closing INT to seal the Lombardi Trophy that the rookie from West Alabama made Sunday at the Super Bowl? That was one of the best games I've seen, but no.

I'm talking about the real game changer.

Domestic abuse. It's nothing new, but it's out in the open now. And it's only funny to some people because they either haven't had it happen to someone they love or they're the ones enforcing it.


If you watched the video above you might have caught yourself either breathing heavy or holding your breath for a moment. I did.

There were two times I recall, when I was too young to understand, that my Grandpa, Grandma and Uncle had to come over in the middle of the night to pick up my Mom, Brother and I.
At four years-old, I remember my dad angry, yelling and throwing his dinner dish into the fire place all because he didn't approve of what my mom prepared him for dinner.
That was the first time my dad taught me how to react when something isn't right.
When the second event happen I was in the middle of it, literally. Watching the Disney VHS "Sleeping Beauty" between my parents in their bed. My parents were talking and the little comment that my mom made ignited my dad to jump over me onto my mom, shaking her violently. I believe I was yelling for my older brother who had hurried to call my grandparents. I was five years-old and that is forever embedded in me.

Those are the lessons that young men are taught; First, when something isn't done right curse, yell and belittle someone and second if someone offends you put hands on them.

This is tough to share because it's real and personal. Luckily that was the last time that happen and my dad, realizing that he didn't want to lose everything he truly loved, changed.

My parents are so so so happy together and I love them both. This story is showing two good and wonderful people at their absolute worst.

But like Ray and myself, all guys have seen or have heard the act of devaluing a woman. Internally this causes us to believe it is natural and right.

  • The World Health Organization reported in 2013 more than a third of women fall victim to physical and sexual violence. Vast majority of the cases the abuser is the husband or the boyfriend.
  • The Federal Bureau of Investigation reports 3,200 servicemen were killed in battle from 2000-2006, at the same time there were 10,600 domestic homicides in the U.S.   



More men need to teach younger men to respect and honor others.

Danny